The Sunday circus roars with angry fever
August breezes in the noontime make me shiver
Clouds cover my insanity as I float though waves
Of sound and ocean currents refuse to behave
But lying next to me breath and love
And a heart beats warm but not enough
To cool the ache of my mind at dawn
When the alarm clock convinces me something's wrong

Touch the figure next to me with a casual smile
Look at the ceiling in my stupor of sleep reprisal
And the chain around my neck is tight
But should be tighter to hold my thoughts throughout 
the night
And the stars twinkle green and illuminate the room
Then I find the sun rising and the stars fade too soon

Strange, but February's gone...

But someday everything will come again
Just like the spring and the fall and my best friend
Like the Grand Canyon is too deep for me to fall
But someday somehow I vow I'll do it all
October felt like it was never true
And so does she, and how was she to you?
Halloween was real I know but I can't shake
This high feeling that I was never awake
Maybe my whole life was just my dream
Or not, but at least that's how it seems
What a terribly sad and boring dream for me
Aren't there a hundred things I'd rather be?
There's things I know that happened but
The eyes and the mind won't tell me what

February's gone...

And with it all the laughter and each day
I can't remember when or where I felt this way
But I am slipping through my own hands
And my dreams and my memories and this one life stand
Hollow, empty, wanting, deprived
Of this dream-- anger and suicide
Was I better off before the fulfillment of this
Holding hands and shared smiles and a kiss?
Did I want what I believed in only to find
That what I believe I never had in mind?

Thursday's gone...

And except for the brief tears and I'm sorrys wept
I can't remember all that happened before I slept
And the body that lied next to me was never there
At all, just my mind's lie and a bed full of air
But there is a body somewhere...

But all these things thought in a moment
The split second before I have awoken
I feel viciously unbroken
And strangely unknowing
For they are not with me still.

-March 5th, 1999-